actuallydáel

do you ever go to sleep laying on your side and feel like your entire ribcage is collapsing in itself?

like my breastbone is caving into my chest, and it makes it so hard to breathe because it feels like i have no lungs.

it feels like my body is foreign and that no matter how i try to sleep, i will always be uncomfortable, awake at night.

so i stare at the glow of the streetlights from my bedroom window and i wonder if fresh air would do me any good.

the truth is i think my ribcage's broken, not in the way one goes to the hospital to get it fixed some days or weeks later.

no, it's broken in the sense that breathing hurts and being awake hurts if i'm not spending that time doing anything else.

now i'm rolling around in bed wondering if there is really any way i'll sleep comfortably tonight. maybe when tiredness kicks in.

one day my sternum will feel like it isn't there at all, then i'll go to sleep and breathe again.