goodbye
rain, rain and more rain. what would it be of my body, buried in a mossy tombstone, without water that washes my sin.
and my phantom would wander that eternal and autumnal forest, even if it's only once again, from the beginning to the end.
i would wake from my grave to walk for the last time to the stream of the freshest water that my hands had ever touched.
it leads to a small lake surrounded by no more than spruce and stone, with a row boat, to end up as far as possible.
i guide myself through the mist using the voices that have always called me. if i don't see you anymore in earth i hope that this is my destiny.
because there's no place more silent, no fresher air, no calmer soul than mine in this place.
back to the forest, i take the path. i know where it will take me but i walk it as if i had never stepped on it before.
and my already ethereal body would present itself there, in front of the cabin that appears in all of my dreams.
preserved wood with a small porch, it is enough. i sit in the rocker bench singing songs in my mind.
it's a homely cabin, it is small, but it has all i need: to be alone and, for the last time, in peace with my rested soul.
my eyes would see for the last time this place destined for me. oh, how will i miss the views to my small garden.
and through one of the windows i can see giant mountains covered in trees and mist of my same transparency.
i might have left behind my body but i know the raindrops will still calm my soul, even if it's just one, just one last time.
and i would sleep in that bed surrounded by you, listening to your voice to leave you forever, even if it's not what i promised.
i would gaze at everything amazed, the beauty of nature, and my soul in its purest state. i leave you behind, my dear.
and with my last breath i go back to my eternal resting place. goodbye, it was a pleasure to meet you.
related thoughts
NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN
i want that the last thing people know of me is that i walked into the forest to never be seen again
LIGHT CARRIES ON
put my gravestone in this forest so i can be a part of nature again disintegrate and be one with the earth and perhaps if our planet disappears i trust that i will be part of another star and if there's life on another planet and someone looks at the constellation that my star forms that person will have my power and will know i'm with them i don't want to leave a trace before i die when i can leave a trace in the form of pure light [how light carries on endlessly, even after death – saturn – sleeping at last]
PROMISE
during all my childhood but now too i promised the third, my plushes, this constant voice that guards me that i would never leave them, that no matter what i would be with them i'm scared that if i take meds i will stop hearing them i'm scared that if i die, they will disappear along with me that's why i wrote this poem if by any chance i die, i wish destiny would let me walk this forest one last time just one day, go to every place of it with them, “my dear” is no other than my voice my phantom will be out of its grave and sleep in a bed with them like i have done all my life but that would be the last time, and the best of them all when my soul steps on my resting place for the last time, i will disappear forever i will fuse with nature, that is what i desire i don't care about going to a prestigious university anymore i don't care that the world won't remember my name i'm not a good person expecting something in return anymore all i can give i will after i die
CREATION IS A DEBT
creation is a debt when something is created, energy groups itself in a state that is not natural for itself that's why not even the universe is free of debt creation is what frees me from everything bad but i also create debt when i die, if i do, i will pay back that debt all that i have created will come with me to my resting place and will be part of, some day, the perfect mass of energy