pleiades.
if stars fell horizontally and at a constant speed, then i would've seen the pleiades tonight, but i did not see the pleiades tonight, only dead skies impaled by endless streetlights,
eyes blinded by too many headlights, ears deaf from too many engines. we have nailed the firmament to a cross of its own. stars weakly agonize at the sight of the laughing nocturnal planes. the stars do not flicker, they do not shine. forests made from newborn trees encased in asphalt walls, cars howl, headlights blind, no fear of crossing an animal. the yellowish hue of the streetlights choke the nightsky, never too dark, never lonely enough.
the pleiades do not fall here, the city knows no nightsky, only a sea of lights fills the horizon, so-called alive, i call it dead. there is no escape to it, no impulse to take me far enough, no freedom, no nature eager enough. i am lost looking for a breath somewhere, but my oxygen lies on other skies.
i escaped with fear, no place to truly feel alone or safe, endless bus stops, bike lanes, prepackaged walk and nature experience, only ants surviving in pure hostility, only paranoia of killer unlit trees. and now, there is nowhere else for me to go tonight, no other corner of this prison cell, this miserable capitalistic life. hunger, cellphone battery, thirst, nights never cold enough. so i've only come outside to look down to my notebook, write these sad words, mourn a death, scream that there is no life in this hell, no rest, as long as the pleiades only fall on privileged skies.
we have built many prisons, committed many crimes, but no prison more miserable, no crime more unforgivable, that a life made only to sleep for work, a life with no nature, a life truly dead.
the stars won't fall for us tonight, the sky won't come back to life. if this is my night sky, then i am an amputee of heart, i am widow to a lover long dead, lover which this city has killed, because if skies bled, blood would be on city roads, on endless consumption. i wish i could turn off all of the lights, power off this entire city, make everything stop, no more engine roar, no more buzz of electricity, no more agony of “nightlife”. i wish i could've sit and watch, but my stars, they fall on other skies.